Show Notes

• The Tits Reduction: How do you even walk? Do you have back problems?
• Sleep Walking: I had a dream about gas, so I pulled the whole stove out. Sometimes I'd wake up outside with no clothes on.
• Working Overtime: 60% of people sleep with their co-workers while on company time
• Little Baby Faggot: The cinematography was so good it could be in one of those pretentious douche bag film festivals
• MILF Porn: How do I know these people are really mothers? I'd like to see babies in the corner.
• Dina Quits: I have to cover for some lady at work because she decided she wanted to spend some time with her kids, that bitch
• You Messed Up: Preparation H reduces the puffiness under your eye, now this guy thinks I have hemorrhoids
• Twitchy Mel Gibson: I've moved on from my antisemitism. I guess you haven't, World.
• The Future Is Now: Heinz Ketchup has a new ketchup packet, get the Heinz people on cancer, they're good!
• The Stand-up Contest: Black people are ninjas; Black Out Fridays; Kyle The Intern got molested
• Drinking Spit: I swallowed a cigarette and smoked from my throat
• Who's The Boss: Bruce Springsteen sues band that performed his songs live
• Baby Is Scared: 4th Grader was nearly suspended for playing with a plastic toy gun, but nothing actually happened, so who cares?