1917: Juan is the Loneliest Number

Show Notes

• — Greatest Hits: A Knockout Game player has claimed his attacks were either in self-defense or 'love taps'
• — Snowpocalypse: Atlanta, Georgia shut down after being unable to handle 2 inches of snow
• — Bridgegate: Chris Christie was in fact aware of the artificially-created George Washington Bridge traffic
• — Manning Up And Own It: 60% of KATG listeners think Peyton Manning knew about his brother Eli's memorabilia shenanigans
• — Get Some Stank On The Hang-Low: Juan, the KATG listener in a broken (and international long-distance) marriage, calls in to further explain himself
• — That's 56 Hours In Dog Years: The Puppy Bowl, which Hugsy Malone is ineligible to compete in, is an 8-hour event
• — Killin' It: George Zimmerman will be competing in a celebrity boxing match with part of the proceeds going to an animal rescue charity
• — Hard To Kill: Steven Seagal is best friends with Vladimir Putin and is confident in Russia's level of security for the upcoming Olympics; Keith is pretty sure he could beat him up
• — Transaction Fee: A Russian woman underwent sex-change surgery in an unsuccessful bid to get out of paying her debt
• — Gaynado: Oklahoma threatens to ban all marriage if banning gay marriage is deemed unconstitutional
• — The Worst Queen: Queen Elizabeth has gone broke and doesn't have enough money to fix the decrepit Buckingham Palace
• — Oh, Canada!: Justin Bieber was arrested on assault charges for slapping his limo driver from behind
• — Death Pact: Motley Crue has signed a contract that its upcoming tour will be its last
• — Shine On: The manager of a jewelry store in a mall called CNN to plug her store in the immediate aftermath of a shooting at that mall