2164: Roast Chicken

Show Notes

• — What Is Football?: Andrea Allan and Emily Lubin, here to give their thoughts on Troy Polamalu’s retirement, is in studio
• — Swipe Left: Emily and Andrea have a new podcast titled The Hot Mess Comedy Hour, which they’ve been using unorthodox methods to promote, leading to flaggings on Tinder and a support group for men they've tricked on Reddit
• — Gash Cab: Emily received oral pleasure from a gentleman in a taxi
• — SeekingArrangement.com: Keith asks Andrea and Emily if they’re serious about becoming escorts, which they’ve threatened doing on their podcast
• — Tell The Doctor What You Did: Andrea’s first sexual experience was blowing an older man in an alley while she was very drunk and expecting to get her first kiss, being left there, and then becoming afraid she contracted AIDS. Years later, she actually got chlamydia, her only STD to date.
• — Gotcha!: Andrea briefly broke her sobriety after Danny played a prank on her
• — Tag In: Andrea discusses some of the things she’s done as a hot mess, such as crawling into her date’s roommate’s bed after the initial date went down on her unsatisfactorily
• — Kiss Of Death: Emily’s kissing teacher, Madonna, treated Drake to a surprise make out session on stage at Coachella
• — Harvey Gets Off Again: Harvey Weinstein will not be charged for groping an Italian model in his office
• — KATG Vs. America: Hillary Clinton, who lies about the number of immigrant grandparents she had, announced her presidential candidacy with an incognito trip to Chipotle (which she tipped off the New York Times to). If Chris Christie is elected president, he vows to crack down on drug laws and work hard to keep marijuana illegal.
• — C-: Gwyneth Paltrow took the Food Bank NYC Challenge, where she had to live on a $29 food budget for a week, and quit after 4 days
• — Unwifed: Keith reviews the horrible horror movie his wife made him watch
• — He’s No Big Deal: Keith and Cat met a drunk older couple, and Keith didn’t realize the extent of the wife's assholery until after they left
• — Hammer Time: Andrea was at the arm wrestling competition and was almost killed by a tool-wielding lesbian who took a swing at her with a real hammer