2382: Captain Things

Show Notes

• — Dick Patrol: Chris ‘Shockwave’ Sullivan and Victor ‘King Supernuts II’ Varnado, hosts of the comedy rap battle show Battlicious, are in studio
• — Shark Balls: Victor and Shockwave perform one of their hit songs
• — Worldstar: The gang talks about how they did or did not celebrate Mother's Day
• — Shits With Friends: Over the weekend, Keith found himself in the bathroom when he didn’t even have to go to the bathroom
• — Mike Dick: Shockwave and Victor discuss the latest edition of Battlicious, featuring Hennessy and Michael Khalili (who calls in to defend his honor)
• — Diary Of A Young Poll: 22% of the audience believes it’s not inconsiderate to ask their parents to hold their childish things. 55% would not take a virtual reality tour of Anne Frank’s house.
• — At The Movies: The gang reviews Captain America: Civil War
• — Raw: After Eddie Murphy's bitch Arsenio Hall filed a $5,000,000 lawsuit against Sinead O’Connor for saying he gave Prince the drugs that killed him (and also once spiked her drink), Sinead responded by telling Arsenio to suck her dick
• — Killing Me Softly: Lauryn Hill arrived 2 hours late to her own concert and only played for 40 minutes
• — RIP Democracy: Even though Boaty McBoatface received 124,000 votes in a poll to name a new British research vessel, the boat will officially be named after Sir David Attenborough (who netted 11,000 votes)
• — Politics As Usual: In a recent speech, Hillary Clinton yelled about how we need to stop yelling at each other. To celebrate Mexico’s Cinco de Mayo, Donald Trump tweeted a picture of a taco bowl from one of his restaurants and proclaimed his love for ‘Hispanics.’
• — Prince Of Divorce: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne’s marriage is on the rocks after she caught him cheating with his hairdresser
• — World News: An Israeli man filed a restraining order against God because he’s tired of God being mean to him. People in China are no longer allowed to ‘seductively’ eat bananas on camera.