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2382: Captain Things

with Chris ‘Shockwave’ Sullivan and Victor ‘King Supernuts II’ Varnado – Dick Patrol; Mother’s Day; KATG polls; Captain America: Civil War; Arsenio Hall sues Sinead O’Connor; Lauryn Hill angers ticket holders; the fate of Boaty McBoatface; Hillary Clinton yells to stop yelling, and Donald Trump’s Cinco de Mayo faux pas; Sharon catches Ozzy Osbourne cheating; Israeli man files restraining order against God; China bans sexy people from eating bananas May 8, 2016

Show Notes

  • — Dick Patrol: Chris ‘Shockwave’ Sullivan and Victor ‘King Supernuts II’ Varnado, hosts of the comedy rap battle show Battlicious, are in studio
  • — Shark Balls: Victor and Shockwave perform one of their hit songs
  • — Worldstar: The gang talks about how they did or did not celebrate Mother's Day
  • — Shits With Friends: Over the weekend, Keith found himself in the bathroom when he didn’t even have to go to the bathroom
  • — Mike Dick: Shockwave and Victor discuss the latest edition of Battlicious, featuring Hennessy and Michael Khalili (who calls in to defend his honor)
  • — Diary Of A Young Poll: 22% of the audience believes it’s not inconsiderate to ask their parents to hold their childish things. 55% would not take a virtual reality tour of Anne Frank’s house.
  • — At The Movies: The gang reviews Captain America: Civil War
  • — Raw: After Eddie Murphy's bitch Arsenio Hall filed a $5,000,000 lawsuit against Sinead O’Connor for saying he gave Prince the drugs that killed him (and also once spiked her drink), Sinead responded by telling Arsenio to suck her dick
  • — Killing Me Softly: Lauryn Hill arrived 2 hours late to her own concert and only played for 40 minutes
  • — RIP Democracy: Even though Boaty McBoatface received 124,000 votes in a poll to name a new British research vessel, the boat will officially be named after Sir David Attenborough (who netted 11,000 votes)
  • — Politics As Usual: In a recent speech, Hillary Clinton yelled about how we need to stop yelling at each other. To celebrate Mexico’s Cinco de Mayo, Donald Trump tweeted a picture of a taco bowl from one of his restaurants and proclaimed his love for ‘Hispanics.’
  • — Prince Of Divorce: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne’s marriage is on the rocks after she caught him cheating with his hairdresser
  • — World News: An Israeli man filed a restraining order against God because he’s tired of God being mean to him. People in China are no longer allowed to ‘seductively’ eat bananas on camera.

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