3443: The Obituaries

[The Girl]

I was thinking of saying “I was hoping you remember me since you were my first sexual experience”. Xerxes discouraged that.


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[littlp]

The obituaries were something else. And like Chemda, I always think that his dad couldn’t get any more outrageous. We need to stop putting that out there.

Also, Chemda, what are you looking for in this conversation? You don’t seem to like cringe and there will be a lot of cringe. He is not going to admit anything. He is not going to give you what you need. Is there any chance you could run into him? I vote to block him at this point. And he remembers, there isn’t any way he doesn’t remember. And If you block him versus continuing the conversation it will definitely make him panic for at least several days. I don’t think spending any time on this guy would be good for you. But you really only know yourself the best.


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[Keith]

Oh I do like the block. Not to end it but to make him sweat.

[CarolinaLiz]

Just listened to the show and you asked, “why would that act be the thing you do?" It's not about sex. It's about power. Maybe in the context that you were both kids, the power thing is a little bit of a different dynamic? Experimentation on someone that he knew couldn't/wouldn't stop him? Or at least someone more vulnerable than himself? I guess what comes to mind is that gymnastics doctor (Larry Nassar) who abused girls in USA gymnastics. It wasn't about sex, it was always about power.

There's just no way that you invented this or just dreamed it on multiple occasions. It sounds like it wasn't in your subconscious at that age to even conjure it up in a dream. I'm betting that your parents froze in the moment that you freaked out and just went ahead with their plans, but they (or at least your mom, despite her flaws) realized that there was a reason behind your hysteria. After all, if it's hysterical, it's historical, right? Your hysteria probably saved you that last time he babysat because he was too freaked out that you'd say something. And then he was never asked back because even if your parents didn't know what happened, they knew something was making you really upset.

One idea if you go forward with confronting him:
"I've never been able to shake the feeling that something inappropriate happened when you were babysitting me and I want to know why I feel that way. Looking back, did you do anything inappropriate to me when you were a kid?" (ask point blank, but this also lets him admit to a "lesser offense" of "i was a kid, i didn't know better." but at least it might get an answer to the question of "did this happen?" cleared up.)

You and I discussed this in chat one night, but part of my job is to interview people and try to get them to confess to ripping off my company/customers. They lie all the time and me accusing them of doing something is rarely satisfying. Everyone lies out of their own self-interest and 9 times out of 10, that's what's going to happen. BUT we have to ask. We have to give them the chance to come clean because every now and then, they'll do it. Obviously, this is a very different situation, but the bottom line remains: if you don’t ask, you’ll never know. If you do ask, you may still never know, but at least you tried and at least you put him on notice.

Just some thoughts. Heavy stuff. I’m so sorry you went through that.

--ListenerLiz--

[thirteen]

Am I in the Twilight Zone?

[thirteen]

At first I thought the obituary was for Keith's ex-wife, written by Keith's dad.

[Apia resurrected]

I wouldn't do anything more Chemda. Or you would be hurt if he doesn't react in the way you hope to. If he remembers, he sweats now already.

[Apia resurrected]

Originally Posted by littlp

The obituaries were something else. And like Chemda, I always think that his dad couldn’t get any more outrageous. We need to stop putting that out there.

Also, Chemda, what are you looking for in this conversation? You don’t seem to like cringe and there will be a lot of cringe. He is not going to admit anything. He is not going to give you what you need. Is there any chance you could run into him? I vote to block him at this point. And he remembers, there isn’t any way he doesn’t remember. And If you block him versus continuing the conversation it will definitely make him panic for at least several days. I don’t think spending any time on this guy would be good

for you. But you really only know yourself the best.


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I agree with the most but its possible that he actively blocks it out and by now doesn't remember. Thats not a good thing or an excuse.

[Junkenstein]

I volunteered for a library ages ago and we used to be visited, daily, by some elderly retired teaxcher, a huge verbose man who spent hours trying to get anyone working there to listen to him, monologuing on any topic.

One day he comes in and tells us he wrote his own obituary AND he designed his own posters for his funeral (in Italy, when a funeral occurs there are areas in cities where posters are hanged with picture, obituaries and all to inform anyone who wants to attend). He did it for him and his wife, both living, to be "prepared".

According to him (i paraphrase) : "It was more important than a will" (in that i read an unspoken 'screw my sons and daughters')

[bag of lazers]

Originally Posted by shoebootie

Mike Malley is going to kill himself. This is really sus.

Nope. That's a big sin in the Church. He wouldn't throw away his ticket to magic nevernever land right at the end.