I was on the KATG chat the other day and got BEAR SPRAYED IN THE FUCKING FACE

[CUgirlie]

Originally Posted by KeithM

It is eerily similar. Pepper spray is like glitter, except that each glitter speck burns with the fire of a thousand suns.

Holy fuck, can you imagine how ridiculous that would be? A wave of teenage gangs spreading terror throughout the night by throwing glitter at people. In a way, that's fucking brilliant. They still woulda blinded me enough to take the laptop and run off. Also, people would start laughing when they first saw it in the paper, but as the glitter-attacks continued the laughter would turn to dread, until the whole city was afraid to leave their houses at night for fear of glitter.

Atleast you can joke about it, right?

[Rhian]

I have to first say, shit, that you got hit with that. That really sucks - and just a random attack? So sorry. I have bear spray, but because of work shit of late - strictly for defense in the case of whatever may be pulled on me.

Are you okay? (long story)

[paul_r]

was it insured?

[Mikey]

Originally Posted by KeithM

It was about 3am, I was walking home from work. I stopped about 3 blocks from my house, sat at an out-of-service bus stop and pulled out my laptop, because there was a wireless signal there. I was just gonna check email and book, but I hung around to see who was on the chat. Jennifer from Victoria, Bren_duh from the brolo show, and Frizz, how you doing.

It really was truly retarded for me to have a laptop out in public at 3am, so when two asian kids sidled up I reckoned something was up. One of them said "I think you should give me your laptop", and before I even had a chance to say, "Okay" I got a face full of bear spray.

I cannot over-emphasize how incredibly painful bear spray is at every stage. Even though I was close to home I had to call 911 because I couldn't open my eyes. It was 12 hours before the burning subsided enough for me to go to sleep, and today I buzzed all my hair off because I couldn't get the shit out of it. Bear spray is truly hellish, because hot water makes it burn more, and cold water is too cold to take a prolonged shower in. Also it spreads, so the spray on my face made its way to my dick, and that was second only to the eyes for pure pain.

I haven't got a computer, and Erin's comp is fucked up and keeps resetting every 15 minutes, so this looks like an indefinite end to logorrhea. I'll try to find a computer somewhere to at least do a send off episode, because I've got a fucking good story to tell. Fucking christ, bear spray. I would seriously not wish that kind of pain on anyone I've ever met. There are a couple faceless rapists in my ex-girlfriend's past who could use a face full of it, but that's it. Holy FUCK.

I am proud to say that the last thing I heard on my laptop was Uncle Miltie's dozens of jokes about his giant cock, which made me laugh incredibly hard. So thanks Matt, Keith and Miltie for the hilariousness.

The worst part is that there's no way I could ever recognize those kids and bust their skulls open with a baseball bat, because asian teenagers all look the same. It's like a built in ninja ability. Little fucking bastards.

whats worse...

this, or the guy who went deaf by almost drowning underwater listening to katg

[Friz]

Way to make me feel like a asshole. When you dropped in the middle of that conversation we were like, "What an asshole."

[KeithM]

Originally Posted by Rhian

I have to first say, shit, that you got hit with that. That really sucks - and just a random attack? So sorry. I have bear spray, but because of work shit of late - strictly for defense in the case of whatever may be pulled on me.

If you have to use it, just don't use very much. Trust me, a tenth of what was used on me still would have put me out of action. So even if you are spraying an evil dickhead -- just give him a little squirt. It'll do.

[stjoe]

Originally Posted by KeithM

If you have to use it, just don't use very much. Trust me, a tenth of what was used on me still would have put me out of action. So even if you are spraying an evil dickhead -- just give him a little squirt. It'll do.

Give him a little squirt... damn, too easy.

[KeithM]

Here's something from howstuffworks.com. As you can tell, I'm a little preoccupied with learning about pepper spray lately.

"Pepper spray is available in most areas of the country in strengths ranging from .5 percent (dog repellant) to 10 percent (bear repellant). Most personal protective versions of the spray are in the 1-percent strength range. Sales of the spray in the 5-percent range are restricted to law enforcement."

I really don't understand why you can buy bear spray in BC. There aren't that many bears. 10 fucking percent? Jesus. Fuck it, I say let people get eaten by bears. I saw a place on Broadway advertising their bear spray. It's plain fucking mental that they can sell that stuff.

[stjoe]

Originally Posted by KeithM

I really don't understand why you can buy bear spray in BC. There aren't that many bears.

Where you live. Every year we get them in town here. And when I lived in Prince George we'd have Bear, Moose, and Elk in our yard almost year round.

[JediMom]

Here's an asian for you....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igC4bPDp6cU