I Have A Problem With Alcohol.

[Dean from Australia]

Yesterday I got drunk. I got really drunk. I got so drunk that at some point I lost about 7 hours.

During this time, I said some things to my serioso and my kids that are, quite frankly, fucking unacceptable. They don't bare repeating here, partly because I'm too ashamed to repeat them.

I woke up at around 5am this morning, unable to recall what I said and did and it scared the fucking shit out of me.

I don't drink regularly. Once a week mostly - usually on a Saturday afternoon. I have a few quiet beers at home, after I've faffed about in the garden. Usually, I'm restrained enough to stop but occasionally I'll let loose and have one too many. Then I become an arsehole.
Recently, at social gatherings, I've done it more and more and it's getting out of hand. The tipping point came yesterday.

I don't have an off switch when it comes to slowing down and it is now becoming a big problem.

My family couldn't even look at me this morning and I don't blame them.

So, I made the decision this morning and told my family that I am giving up drinking. I can't handle myself with alcohol and I fear that if I allow myself to drink again I won't be able to control myself.

But I'm scared that I won't be able to control myself - that I won't be able to stick to my commitment. That I am a weak person.

What do I do now?