1051: Bear the Shame

Show Notes

• — Car Inspection: You could have totally bought a new car and a Filipino driver and still had 50 bucks left over
• — Acknowledgments: Keith Malley I couldn't have written a single word without you
• — Purell On The Rocks: A British prison banished sanitizing gel after finding out inmates were using it to get drunk
• — Most Bloated Face: If you're Tawny Kitaen and you wake up at 2 PM and you're shitfaced at 3, you might have a problem
• — Tit Stuffing: My breasts look like oranges in tube socks, I think I may need a boob job
• — The F-Bomb: I think they should execute Jenny Slate live on the next show
• — Time Heals: Roman Polanski made a mistake, he's a great director. But what about that other part where he raped children?
• — Disabling Dicks: Poland passes a law making chemical castration mandatory for convicted pedophiles
• — Alt + Escape + Delete: Smashing your screen doesn't delete child pornography from your computer
• — Violence And Love: Lucy Vodden has died. Lennon wrote that song and then beat his girlfriend and son.
• — Veterans Of Foreign Wars: I shouldn't have set the flag on fire, so thank you for duct taping me to a flagpole
• — Grizzly Beers: BEARS have taken over Aspen, Colorado, so please be a douche to the BEAR, fuck a BEAR's girlfriend
• — Your Tragedies: I take it back, I didn't know this guy had sad things, fist-fucking a 13-year-old girl is completely okay
• — Happy Jew Day: What's the deal, Chemda? I'm seeing all these Jews with long white coats
• — Cindy Adams: Don't burn your skin, burn your scars on Broadway, only in New York