2443: But I'm a Cheerleader

Show Notes

• — Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: Jessica Watkins, who loves walking, is in studio. Alex Engelbert runs late, joins the show, and catches her breath
• — Where Everybody Knows Your Name: Jessica was a cheerleading captain in high school and Alex was a professional competitive cheerleader throughout college
• — Are We Gonna Fuck Or Not?: Alex discusses the current state of her dating life
• — You Speak Faster Than Gilmore Girls: Alex is 2 weeks sober. Her drugs of choice, since she was 15, were cocaine, Adderall, booze and MDMA.
• — Love Libby From Cleveland: A fan writes in to defend Libby’s laugh
• — GoFundMe.com/Newsy: Newsy calls in to discuss his thoughts on Keith’s Alton Sterling take, the latest on his graffiti court case, his fundraiser, and his new therapy sessions
• — Laissez-fare: A Japanese Olympic gymnast incurred over $5,000 in roaming fees while playing Pokémon Go in Rio. Alex discusses her non-bill-paying strategy.
• — Will You Adopt Me?: Alex isn’t very close to her parents
• — Love Does Not Exist: Alex doesn’t care about anything and hasn’t cried in 20 years
• — Throw Some Vodka On This: Alex, who is epileptic, got 7 staples in her head after falling during a drug-induced seizure. Instead of going back to the hospital to get the staples removed, her friend took them out in a bar’s bathroom.
• — Your Girl Is Dumb: Alex paid her little brother to pass math for her, and she only passed a college science class when she slept with the teacher’s assistant
• — Waaaaah: Donald Trump kicked a crying baby and its mother out of one of his rallies after saying how much he liked the baby