AWAKE

[Keith]

When I get back on air I'm going to address the earlier stuff, but don't get mad if you can't understand I'm not reading all of whatever that is.

You have to understand, with peace and love.

You'll be able to call in. Fair?

[Keith]

Originally Posted by BadAsh

***Also - let's pretend not to notice how everyone ignored:

Exhibit A) how they look identical - making Keith's Entire fucking premise about how different they are stupid. Just keep ignoring it

And exhibit B) how we would feel about saying this sort of thing about any part of women's junk. Ie, imagine "you know what is the worst? Women's vaginas that are like ____ (insert whatever Keith thinks is bad). Imagine the horror when they have to show that vagina to a guy. Wow, really disgusting stuff. Haha. Ok, next joke." So we would just be cool with that, ay

I couldn't help it. I read your P.S.

"OK, next joke?" You said I spent 6 minutes on it!

Then how does anyone know what I'm talking about? You know they don't look identical you goofy fuck. My dad had a testicle removed and I just saw the aftermath. The surgery had nothing to do with his penis. Guess what? His uncircumcised dick looks NOTHING like mine.

And I would never call a woman's personals junk. My gravy.

But seriously, I like what I like with the vagina: There's the axe, puffy lips, a little hanging out... But I'm a man with man parts so I'll talk about man parts.

If you said anything earlier to contradict what I just typed: I don't give a cock; you're too wordy.

I'll never know.

I also never read Lord of the Flies but I bet I get the gist.

[memecherry]

Nope, your essay on why you are butt hurt is not worth reading.

Good luck on your dick crusade, I'm sure all the wars in the world & famine will be fixed by your campaign.

Now go fuck your wife or something if you're so worried about your dick.

[memecherry]

One last thing, I wouldn't give a fuck if Keith said anything about puffy vaginas, or meaty vaginas, small vaginas, etc.

Wanna know why? Cause he didn't say my name in all of that... and even if he DID attach my name to it... I wouldn't get this butt hurt... wanna know why? It would make me a hypocrite to laugh at every other joke he said & then go on a stupid crusade when it hits home. You don't deserve the magic that is Keith's comedy.

So, once again: Go fuck your wife or something. Nobody on this forums cares about your stupid dick (except for Sparrow who wants to see it).

[BadAsh]

Originally Posted by memecherry

So, once again: Go fuck your wife or something. Nobody on this forums cares about your stupid dick (except for Sparrow who wants to see it).

Memecherry, I would absolutely fucking love it, if nobody cared about my stupid dick. But unfortunately

Keith really really cares about it!

He thinks it should be like his, because right now it's gross. He thinks about this actively. Enough to bring up my dick to others frequently, then persuade them about how gross it is.

I know how when I really don't care, I love to talk about something a lot and try try to convince others.

Does this remind you of that one Louis CK joke, about people who are furiously brow-furrowingly disgusted by gay sex, in their own home? Like, nowhere near gay people?



Alright but you do get my point, right? How if Keith would stop disparaging uncut dicks that he cares enough about to do so, there would be nothing to talk about, and nobody would care, as you said?

Originally Posted by memecherry

One last thing, I wouldn't give a fuck if Keith said anything about puffy vaginas, or meaty vaginas, small vaginas, etc.

Wanna know why? Cause he didn't say my name in all of that... and even if he DID attach my name to it... I wouldn't get this butt hurt... wanna know why? It would make me a hypocrite to laugh at every other joke he said & then go on a stupid crusade when it hits home. You don't deserve the magic that is Keith's comedy.

Memecherry, don't you get that it doesn't need to have my name attached to it for me to understand it's still fucked up?

For example, when Trump said "Mexicans coming over the border, they're not sending their good people; they're sending their criminals, their rapists, and i'm sure some good people".

But Memecherry, I'M not Mexican.
So why would I give a fuck?
Therefore it was totally cool with me. Carry on Trump. Am I right? *high five*



The Mexican people who felt offended by him saying it - WHY? It's not like he said THEM specifically. Why were they being weird and lame, making it all about themselves? They were just butthurt.

Even though he made degrading sweeping gestures about the entire group that they are PART OF. Get it, Memecherry? Am I saying Keith is Trump? No. Just a bit of a dick-Trump


Someone would be insane (or just really not giving a fuck, which is cool too) not to be offended by a super cutting and MEANT insult at their group - get that emphasis on "meant"? Of course if it was entirely a joke in good fun, who cares?

Please stop playing dumb acting like Keith doesn't truly mean it, after saying it many many times in discussions on his show. Not just punchlines, but discussing a thing, like a normal talk show - no reason to think he wasn't speaking his mind truly.

Obviously! I don't think this is controversial to Keith, he would outright say it, ask him! He would say, "Yes, circumcised dicks are better, duh, that's my whole point!" If it was just a statement of taste, who cares? Everyone has their right to digg a certain body type over another, some guys are into curvy women, some women like tall guys over short, and some women (get this shocker) like circumcised dicks better! No fucking shit! That's great and nothing wrong with it.




However, stick with me here. Let's do a thought experiment. What if some guys are into curvy women, and they also think skinny women are SHIT.

Like, they think that when someone has to have sex with a skinny woman, it's a horrifying experience for the woman just imagining the look on the guy's face when he sees her naked. They pity those women, really.

They think it's so gross, that they go around telling and persuading others to agree about it; sometimes it's various other groups of women, but sometimes he tells it to the skinny women themselves to their face. He doesn't give a fuck how they feel about that.

He tells them if they are a good Mom, they should do something to their newborn daughters, to make sure they don't face that horror of how disgusting their mother was

Maybe they should put in implants, right after their daughter is born? Just, something to get rid of that gross skinniness. Plus it's an easy quick plastic surgery, she won't even remember it anyway. That way, they would be a good parent, and their daughter wouldn't be sexually repulsive like they themselves are.

So, you are totally cool with this?

(If at all unclear, it was repulsive, of course we would all agree.)

Explain to me, how this is different from what Keith says to uncircumcised guys?

Please please let me hear a little bitty peep from you answering this. Please?




(Sorry, this does sound incredibly belittling of me; just get that you are ignoring or refusing to acknowledge any of my points. Or even respond to them, at all. I get it, it takes a lot of time)




Also to be clear, again I'm not saying circumcision is a bad scary thing - it's totally cool. Awesome even. I'm arguing that uncircumcised dicks are.... also awesome, imagine that?

Imagine that we don't live in a Zero-Sum dick world. Where all of one dick are awesome, so therefore all of the other one must be shit.

I'm arguing that we stop playing dumb that degrading everybody who has that type of dick is ok and acceptable, and baffling as to why it could be uncomfortable to them.

Am NOT arguing for stopping jokes about any type of dick. This is talking about serious, meant opinions




Couldn't we agree that trying to convert people to your dick is not cool? With all the implications - that the reason why converting them is so necessary is uncut dicks are gross, sex with guys who have it is subpar by default, life must be often humiliating for someone who has one, etc

Doesn't it remind you of insufferable bible-thumpers? Like, dick-bible thumpers?

Is it cool when people shove their opinion down your throat? Uncircumcised guys don’t care how you think your vegan organic free range dick is the best, Keith. Stop preaching to them about it. Stop caring so much about their dicks.

The motivation behind it doesn't seem that complicated --> it feels good believing you have the best thing.
And if one thing is the best, the other thing must be the worst. No conceivable way that BOTH things are practically identical and could be good, huh? If mine is the best, fuck yours and it needs to get like mine.



So, it isn't so much about doing a crusade, as much as telling someone to fuck off. Because they have repeatedly been an asshole. I'm not under an illusion this is world-changing and correcting. Does that mean you shouldn't call out a fucked up thing? You're right, why give a fuck or try to right a wrong

Why do bullied kids go on crusades against the person picking them saying fucked up shit? What, they think it's going to stop bullying on Earth? Fuckin lame, man

Again - Why did all those Mexicans open up a fucking crusade when trump said people who come from their country probably are rapists, maybe not though their might be some good ones too. Motherfucking lame.

Get it Memecherry?

Alright, this is sounding pretty condescending of me saying "Get it" repeatedly, I'm sorry. I think you DO really get it, you just aren't admitting it




So, 70% of all men on Earth are uncircumcised. It's like a billion dudes. Just like there are a billion circumcised guys. Clearly, uncircumcised guys are a small weird minority anyway. So it's pretty easy and convenient to talk shit about them with no blowback.

And what's the big deal of calling disgusting, the thing they have SEX with?
Sex isn't a big deal at all, right?
Why are you playing dumb, Keith? That's what I'm asking.


You would OBVIOUSLY get annoyed and aggravated if I talked to you constantly about how your sexlife is deficient because of your current dick. And change it to be like mine. How is that hard to understand?

And since people in real life hear your words, you're spreading a false stigma. Even when it's done under the guise of standup.

It reminds me of Andrew Dice Clay back in the day. He said stuff like "Butt Buddies" in his standup, other basically slurs or fucked up things against gay people.
If I could count the number of times my Dad said the phrase "butt buddies" when he wanted to describe how disgusting he thought gay people were... Where did he pick that phrase up from?

But hey, Dice was fucking joking. It's not his fault that people heard his words then used them to slur gays. Gay people should toughen up and get over it..
Nah, I'm saying it was kindof bigotry disguised as jokes. I'm pretty sure you have agreed with that in the past Keith, about the anti-gay thing with Dice



So, I'm not saying you're the worst Keith, I'm saying you're unwittingly adding to an atmosphere that says it's ok to call a whole group of humans disgusting to their face, not care about the repercussions to them of that.

Even if you think you're doing a public service to the future by it, helping out future guys get laid better. Like just saying "clean yourself up, wear a nice suit and tie, you'll be more attractive - tough but good advice that you should take and reap the benefits".

Yet in the PRESENT, there are millions of uncircumcised guys. So until you can get them all circumcised, it's not just a PSA that is help out their children - it's an insult to THEM. Get it?

If you're doing it on accident, I can give you a pass man. It may be that this literally never occurred to you. Because most uncircumcised guests/fans/friends of yours that you unwittingly do it to aren't going to go out of their way and call you out on it, because it would be awkward. But luckily I can do it all day baby, because I don't care how awkward this blog is. It is worth doing just for the alternate perspective

[Sparrow]

wow.

[Sparrow]

[BadAsh]

Originally Posted by Keith

I couldn't help it. I read your P.S.

"Then how does anyone know what I'm talking about? You know they don't look identical you goofy fuck. My dad had a testicle removed and I just saw the aftermath. The surgery had nothing to do with his penis. Guess what? His uncircumcised dick looks NOTHING like mine.

Ah, you're basing it on your elderly Dad's testicle-removal aftermath dick.
Now I'm seeing the issue

I don't think you did your homework, Keith.

You need to Google more pictures of uncircumcised dicks. And watch some uncircumcised porn. You're having a small sample size of only old man dick and nightmare stories you've heard from Mehran


Let me ask you, are the dicks in these photos and videos insanely rare unicorn dicks? How are they not dripping with shit all over the place? And how are they not an old man dick


In the pictures when they are hard with the skin pulled back (aka, what happens during sex, aka when women actually see them), how are they able to look exactly like cut dicks + 2mm of skin behind the head?

One thing you can rely on is, there is no shortage of dicks on the Internet.
This is not a hard one to verify, no pun. If you can't find and have no idea what I'm talking about, you're willfully missing it.



How do those dicks exist, Keith?

OHH. So not all uncut dicks are like your father's. Now I get it



I'll even do you one further, Keith - have some sex with an uncut guy who genuinely IS fucking gross. I mean, I don't know them all, there are some dirty fucks out there. Then, tell me about how therefore ALL uncut guys are that.

Then I'll google a picture of a botched circumcision penis, which sometimes happens, not often. And then I'll explain to you how, logically, that is ALL uncircumcised dicks. This all checks out right?

I'll throw in the towel and admit - no, that would be stupid.

When someone robs my house of a certain nationality, that's my proof that all of that race are criminals. Am I right? When a fundamentalist Christian hangs a sign that says "God hates fags", I now know that's how ALL Christians are. Sounds right to me



I'm saying, stop the dick profiling. If uncircumcised dicks as an entire group are so repulsive, how does the human race exist? And how do THEY still exist? Wouldn't they be bred to extinction by being systematically rejected by women, because I mean, so obviously gross? Think about it man

Peace be to you and your dick, buddy. Could you do me a solid and not be a dick Jehovah’s witness at the door?

[BadAsh]

Originally Posted by Keith

If you said anything earlier to contradict what I just typed: I don't give a cock; you're too wordy.

I'll never know.

I also never read Lord of the Flies but I bet I get the gist.

Yeah, I agree that was a lot. It's all good, it just felt good writing it

[BadAsh]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

wow.

I get it Sparrow, this is baffling shit and you can't relate. It's ok. Do you. It's kindof, not really for you