Show Notes and Pictures

Show Notes

• Delicious: A nearly foot-long shrimp was found on the coast of New Zealand
• Hammer Time: The listeners voted Thor the most homosexual Avenger
• Dragon Arrows: Keith thinks Hawkeye the Archer doesn't belong on a superhero team with Thor the Thunder God
• Act: Keith is looking forward to Act Of Valor, an action movie starring active Navy SEALs
• Thought Out: Keith didn't care for The Descendants and no one is surprised
• Very Quiet: Chemda saw Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close and everyone in the theater cried audibly
• At The Movies: Keith and Cat saw Like Crazy and weren't moved by the characters' long-distance open relationship
• Herstory: The Super Bowl set a record for most-viewed show in US TV history with 166.8 million viewers
• Radar: Keith never liked MASH but he knows it like the back of his hand
• Very Disappointing: MIA appeared onstage with Madonna at the Super Bowl and flipped the bird while saying, I don't give a shit
• Francis Bean: Courtney Love's daughter is suing her mom for killing her pets
• Banished: Lana Del Rey performed on SNL and everyone hated her for no discernible reason
• On The Rocks: Daniel Radcliffe announced that he often showed up to Harry Potter shoots drunk
• 9.5: Ben does a fast cover of Lana Del Rey's song Video Games
• Team Player: Gisele Bundchen of being married to Tom Brady fame criticized the rest of the Patriots when they lost the Super Bowl
• We Know This Guy: Dan St. Germain appeared in a Howard Stern commercial during the Super Bowl and it was spectacularly humiliating
• Roaming: A Canadian got a phone bill of over $10,000 because he let his grandchildren watch Netflix movies on his phone
• Newbie: A 26 year old man bought a pistol at a Georgia gun show, loaded it in the parking lot, and accidentally shot himself in the leg
• Moo And Oink: Vermont cop cars have pictures of cows on them so people will take them seriously, and someone turned one of the cow spots into a pig

Show Notes

• Intuition: The Giants won the Superbowl with 21 points to the Patriots' 17, and Chemda nearly predicted it
• Unpacking Party: Keith and Cat have their apartment all decked out because they had a housewarming to force them into setting up
• God On Our Side: Tom Brady's wife Gisele Bundchen sent out a mass e-mail before the Super Bowl asking friends and family to pray for the Patriots
• Touchdown: Chemda took her mom to the airport during the Super Bowl, and her mom texted her afterward asking why people were screaming
• Name The Something: Ray DeVito yelled at the women at Keith's party demanding that they display their football knowledge
• USA: Keith predicted the score well enough to win a lobster roll combo in a contest through Twitter
• Flavor Flav: Many commercials focus too much on entertainment and the brand gets lost in the shuffle
• Half Full: Keith had his bike appraised at half of its original value
• Iron The Bill: Keith made $10 betting against Cole that Madonna wouldn't grab her crotch at halftime
• Spotters: Madonna's halftime show was too simple and hesitant
• Thor Is A God: Keith thinks the Avengers movie is the next big thing, and Michal thinks Spider-Man is going to be in it
• Pointless: Keith watched The Voice after the Super Bowl because he was too full to change the channel
• Nobody Wants Pabst: Ray brought PBR but drank the good beer that other people brought
• Okay Done: Matt Bray made a ridiculous bet with Ray, and Chemda thinks Keith is calling both of them retarded in explaining it
• Madonna's Cock: Kelly Osborne and many gay men enjoyed Madonna's Superbowl performance
• Beautiful: Joan Rivers made her daughter get plastic surgery as a kid, and now they both look the same
• Thinner: Christina Aguilera demands to be shot in a slimming, flattering way on The Voice
• You'd Be Surprised: Chemda talked openly with her mom about her feelings and her mom said she just won't visit or call anymore
• Reasonable: Keith got the full amount of his security deposit back and everyone is amazed, and the landlord is driving away new tenants with his weirdness
• Homemade Explosives: McDonald's has supposedly stopped using ammonium hydroxide to process inedible meat into something foodish

Show Notes

• Community Service: Mike Lawrence produced a show called Auld Lanxiety for comics to retire their worst jokes
• Respect: Mike has started confronting audience members for texting during his performance
• Fruitopia: Mike was punched by a hippie that he'd made fun of at one of his shows
• Low Maintenance: Listener Lalalemon posted on the forums that she gave guys blowjobs in high school to keep from being pressured into sex
• Tender Underside: Chemda interviewed a stripper on What's My Name and learned that strippers don't like when men cum in their pants
• Mom's Acting Up: Chemda wants to keep her parents involved in her life, but she'll most likely need to cut them off
• Pass or Fail: Cat officially got her masters degree and Keith is not surprised. Cat wasn't sure.
• Go Feminism!: Cat put together the IKEA furniture while Keith ironed the bed skirt
• Peace Love And Soul: Don Cornelius of Soul Train fame was found dead at 75 from suicide
• He Don't Mind: Mike has invested so much time into the WWE that the WWE will never lose him as a fan
• Oh Boy: A bunch of nerds are angry that DC Comics is coming out with prequels to Watchmen against Alan Moore's wishes, but they're all going to read them anyway

Show Notes

• Household Name: The show's sponsor is anti-mainstream, so if he catches on, he'll be anti-himself
• Meeq: 64% of listeners think that Shane Mauss being called Shane Mouse is disrespectful
• Take My Time: Keith had a slow and awkward ordeal with a barber before picking up Cat
• Like A King: Cat volunteered to help the movers, so Keith had to help them too
• I Assume: Keith's old landlord tried to make him forget to collect his security deposit
• Professional: Keith's new landlord didn't expect him to move in when he did - or at all
• Try Everything: Myq had a breakthrough in therapy that he's compulsive in all ways, including sexually
• Let's Do Both: Pfizer has issued a recall on birth control pills that may actually increase risk of pregnancy
• Staffing Now: Paula Abdul and other members of the X Factor staff are fired

Show Notes

• Some Time: Shane Mauss is back in New York for the first time in two years
• Busying Himself: Conan O'Brien pronounced Shane Mauss' last name as Mouse, and Keith thinks it's disrespectful
• Obligatory: 61% of listeners have had sex with someone they didn't want to
• Long-Term: Shane has had 4 1/2 sexual partners because he's a serial monogamist
• Well-Spoken: Keith reads Deandre's letter to him out loud over the phone.
• Bottom Shelf: Deandre's girlfriend broke up with him after he wouldn't send more money for the expensive name-brand abortion
• Deaaaaaandreee: Chemda channels Deandre's ex and talks like a little girl
• Math Skills: Deandre tried to find out if his girlfriend was scamming him through Google
• Fun Girl: Shane's ex-girlfriend blamed him for not having a Sex And The City lifestyle, so she asked for an open relationship then got jealous of him despite his lack of out-of-the-relationship sex
• Three Times Yesterday: Shane thinks sex is overrated, but Keith and Chemda think he's just having boring sex
• Tits: Shane's current girlfriend, comedian April Macie, has a more exciting sexual history than he does
• Admitted Alcoholic: Shane doesn't know his drinking limit because he doesn't feel how drunk he's getting, but his friends make sure he gets home okay

Show Notes

• Super Shitfaced: Cursing Michal had a shitshow of a weekend with a smelly-titted woman with the pungent puss and dookie from the butt
• Autistic: Keith took a ride with his broker's mother and daughter, all three squeezed in the back seat with no one in the front
• Her Idea: Keith originally planned with Cat not to pick her up from the airport, but he's caving to peer pressure and doing it anyway
• Two-Hand Touch: Keith isn't a fan of the Pro Bowl where no one wants to get hurt and everybody wins
• No Clue: Christina Aguilera sang some alternate lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner and everyone who bet on her singing won
• You're Invited: $800 to $900 million is lost in revenue on Friday the 13th because people take off work, and 7,000,000 people don't go to work the day after the Super Bowl
• Oops: Keith got his bike back from Kyle and she ain't so pretty no more
• Flat Tire: Kyle stayed at Chemda's while she and Lauren were in Maui and took her car out without permission
• In The Dark: The captain of the Concordia cruise ship had dinner with a female guest after hitting the rocks that would go on to sink the ship
• Ma'am: Demi Moore had to go to the hospital claiming exhaustion, but apparently she was smoking synthetic weed and huffing nitrous oxide
• Psychotic: The founders of Pinkberry met a homeless guy with a tattoo of people having sex and beat the homeless guy with a tire iron for being disrespectful
• Botched: Dean from Australia liked the most recent episode of What's My Name, but he warns against gender reassignment surgery in Thailand
• RU486: The listeners voted unanimously that Deandre's girlfriend was trying to scam him with a fake pregnancy

Show Notes

• Money Now: Peyton is 31 and feels too old to hustle anymore, and his financial instability is making him anxious
• Scream Meter: Peyton was a winner of the World Comedy Laugh-Off, so he needs to buck up
• Great American Scream Machine: An English roller coaster called The Swarm dismembered its test dummies in its first trial run
• Clear History: Stephen Hawking flirted with another woman through his machine and got caught by his wife
• I Know, Pre-Cum: Listener Deandre wrote in that he's in a long-distance relationship, and his girlfriend claims to be pregnant and wants money for an abortion
• Hold It: Sperm can be stored in the bodies of some female animals for up to 30 years
• Orchiectomy: Tim Gunn of Project Runway says he hasn't had sex in 29 years
• Five Minutes: Chemda had to drive by a school as people were picking up their kids, but she kept calm and didn't murder anyone
• Robert Frost: Keith got a letter from his dad about the sandwich named after his show business son, and he told him that God wants him to make a snowman
• Open Letter: A death row inmate and murderer wrote a letter to the families of his victims taunting them and saying how luxurious jail is
• Social: A New York art teacher slept with her students and tried to cover it up
• Uh Oh: Chemda used to hang out with some of her students when she taught Hebrew
• Ninth Grader: A high school kid took a picture of a substitute teacher sleeping and the kid got in trouble for using a phone in class

Show Notes

• I Know: Bank applications are making physical bank locations obsolete, but they can be awfully opinionated
• Gillette: Keith and Chemda survived a trip to Costco
• Buh: Keith is having a combination Superbowl/housewarming party, and Trey wants to get him a corner donkey
• Cup: Chemda's mom is in town, and Lauren's newly-learned Hebrew caused some confusion over double-meaning words and cake
• For Real?!: Chemda had a road rage adventure with a driver who honked at her, and now she's taking a good hard look at her life
• Drive: Chemda is tired of her house and car, so now she's giving away the car as a bonus to whoever buys the house
• The Borrowers: Keith has been trying to get his bike back from Kyle for the past year
• Not Every Day: Pat Sajak has admitted that he used to do Wheel Of Fortune drunk
• Goofy Rape: Greg Kelly, co-host of Good Day New York, is being accused of rape
• Personal: Cynthia Nixon of Sex And The City is involved with a woman and said it was her choice because she's bi. A lot of gay people got mad.
• Pleasure Button: The most recent episode of What's My Name featured an in-process transsexual and everyone learned a lot

Show Notes

• Stress: Keith got sick with whatever Chemda had and didn't have anyone with healing hands around
• Yay: Keith got the apartment after thinking his broker needed more paperwork
• Unread Messages: Realtors and brokers don't close sales quickly even though it'd make them way more money
• Re-gift: Keith is having a new housewarming party and expects new gifts
• Too Happy: The Giants are going back to the Superbowl, and Adam Brown made good money betting on them and his bookie dropped him
• Proficiency: Jesse can speak any language by repeating one syllable
• Beautiful: Keith made a bet and won a sandwich of his own design on the menu at a South Carolina restaurant, and it ended up being a hit
• Vagina Only: A male porn star insured his penis for $1 million
• Weird: A priest was caught with his pants down at an adult bookstore in Baltimore
• So Nice: Jesse went with his wife to a porn store and met a very chatty salesman
• Distinct Looking: Jesse saw War Horse and justifies it with his $10 Sabertooth Tiger rule
• Pepper Spray: Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close is determined to make you cry
• One-Noted: Keith thinks The Help should win Best Picture of Forever
• Inspirational: The State of the Union address came on last night and no one cared
• Action/Adventure: The Navy SEAL team that took out Bin Laden went to Somalia and saved two people from pirates
• Cognac: Vancouver has a new $100 hot dog, beating New York's $69 footlong

Show Notes

• Hurt: Chemda was sick over the weekend and considered drilling a hole in her head to relieve her headache
• On Key: Steven Tyler sang the National Anthem at a football game and everyone likes him less now
• One New: Keith bet on the Patriots and the Giants and won a sandwich named after him from a listener who works in a restaurant
• The Keith Malley Experience: Keith's sandwich consists of roast beef, honey turkey, muenster cheese, lettuce, red pepper hummus, whole grain bread - free tomato upon request, comes with a side of chips - sorry, no substitutions
• Hush: Joe Paterno, former Penn State coach and Sandusky's secret keeper, died over the weekend
• LOL: Drew Peterson, a cop charged with killing his wife (while another wife of his is still missing), had a Lifetime movie made about his story. He thought it was hysterical.
• Blogging: A listener wrote in about hitting herself in the head as self-punishment and being inspired/motivated by the episode with Meg and Chris
• Girly: Keith and Chemda had dinner with Meg and Chris after Friday's show, and the bathroom at the restaurant had a chair for when you have company over
• It Would Me Too: Keith's old IKEA-loving broker has been persistent with his texts despite Keith's silence, then they had an awkward exchange
• Too Late: Four people died in four unrelated circumstances on the NYC subway system over 24 hours
• Time To Go: An Indonesian atheist is facing up to five years in prison for posting God doesn't exist on his Facebook page
• Foaming Agent: McDonald's started #McDStories and it was taken over by citizens not looking out for McDonald's best interests.