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KATG 2126: Marital AIDS

With Taylor Ketchum – Comics on Tinder; Taylor’s final break-up; comparing real life to Boyhood; New England Patriots deny football tampering January 29, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Ha Ha Ha: Taylor Ketchum, who just matched up with Andrea Allan on Tinder, is in studio
  • — I Saw It Coming, You Son Of A Bitch: Taylor and his fiancée broke up again, this time for good
  • — When He's 30, We Can Be Friends: Keith and Taylor discuss Boyhood and how Taylor’s life was similar
  • — Many, Many Times: Taylor dropped out of college because he thought he had AIDS, but his symptoms were just from cocaine use, which his mom helped him realize
  • — The Testicles On Them: The New England Patriots obviously used deflated footballs, despite Tom Brady and Bill Belichick's denials
  • — The Kid's Here: Keith helps Taylor get back in the dating game

Pictures

Taylor Ketchum
Taylor Ketchum
Andrea Allan
Andrea Allan
Paul Hooper
Paul Hooper
Paul Hooper's cock
Paul Hooper's cock


Bill Belichick
Bill Belichick
Tom Brady
Tom Brady

KATG 2125: Don't Look Down

With Justy Dodge – Willow Smith’s titty shirt; the legality of adult incest; misspelled tattoos; dating the Cannibal Cop; Justy’s new boyfriend; therapy; Boyhood January 27, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Cut My Life Into Pieces: Justy Dodge, whose taste in music might explain her propensity for self-harm, is in studio
  • — Kids Today: 14-year-old Willow Smith posted a picture of herself wearing a shirt with a drawing of nude breasts on it
  • — We'll Come Back To That: Justy doesn't have a definitive answer on whether or not adult incest should be legal
  • — Remember: Justy has a misspelled tattoo, which was done by her sobriety sponsor's boyfriend
  • — Tuna Surprise: 12% of KATG's female fan base would let the Cannibal Cop go down on them
  • — We Were In A Fight About Something, Clearly: Justy broke something in her new boyfriend Caleb's apartment lobby by hitting her head against it in a molly and alcohol-fueled rage
  • — I’m A Hot Commodity: Chemda and Justy briefly went to the same therapist but they both fired him
  • — I Don’t Remember Any Of That: Keith plays some outtakes from Justy’s My Name Is Keith appearance
  • — You Know You’ve Blown Me, Right?: It took Justy a while to realize Caleb isn’t circumcised
  • — The Boyhood Trilogy: Justy liked Boyhood but found it too long; Keith is tackling it an hour at a time

Pictures

Justy Dodge
Justy Dodge
Papa Roach
Papa Roach
Willow Smith
Willow Smith
The Cannibal Cop's Match.com profile
The Cannibal Cop's Match.com profile
Caleb and Justy
Caleb and Justy


KATG 2124: 7th Annual KATGuh Award Winners

Find the episodes that featured all the winners at KATG.com/VIP January 22, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — And The Winner Is: Welcome to the 2014 KATGuh Awards ceremony
  • — Incest Spoiler: 35% of KATG’s listeners think adult incest should be legal. It's such a problem in Iceland, where family names don’t carry on through generations, that an app was created to prevent it.
  • — Hungry For Love: The Cannibal Cop’s Match.com profile was deleted
  • — Forgiving Yourself: Henry Phillips performs Oops and Move On (KATG Live in L.A.)
  • — Best New Guest: Christi Chiello
  • — Most Ridiculous Moment: Danny’s Mom calls in (ep. 1995)
  • — Best Impression: Jesse Joyce and Keith as Woody Allen and Andrew Dice Clay (ep. 1939)
  • — Most Shocking Moment: Jonnie Flatbush vandalizes Chemda and Lauren’s house (ep. 1932)
  • — Most Touching Moment: Cathryn and JessNYC repaint Chemda’s walls (2014 54-Hour Marathon)
  • — Most Goofiest Moment: Keith explains Hollyweird to Chris Gethard (ep. 2109)
  • — Best Fight: KATG and Aldo vs. Patrice (ep. 1984)
  • — Most Sexiest Moment: Michael and Marisela go to an orgy on their 3rd date (ep. 2038)
  • — Best Spinoff Episode: That's the Show with Danny (ep. 94)
  • — Spirit Award: Danny Hatch
  • — Deathtime Achievement Award: Safir Romain
  • — Best Feedback: MJG

Pictures

Iceland's helpful incest-preventing app
Iceland's helpful incest-preventing app


The Cannibal Cop's Match.com profile
The Cannibal Cop's Match.com profile
Henry Phillips
Henry Phillips
Best New Guest: Christi Chiello
Best New Guest: Christi Chiello
Most Ridiculous Moment: Danny's Mom
Most Ridiculous Moment: Danny's Mom
Best Impression: Jesse Joyce
Best Impression: Jesse Joyce
Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Andrew Dice Clay
Andrew Dice Clay
Jonnie Flatbush
Jonnie Flatbush
Most Shocking Moment: Jonnie Flatbush vandalizes Chemda and Lauren's home
Most Shocking Moment: Jonnie Flatbush vandalizes Chemda and Lauren's home




Most Touching Moment: Cathryn
Most Touching Moment: Cathryn
Most Touching Moment: JessNYC
Most Touching Moment: JessNYC
Best Fight: Aldo
Best Fight: Aldo
Best Fight: Patrice
Best Fight: Patrice
Most Sexiest Moment: Michael and Marisela
Most Sexiest Moment: Michael and Marisela
Best Spinoff Episode: That's the Show with Danny #94
Best Spinoff Episode: That's the Show with Danny #94
Spirit Award: Danny Hatch
Spirit Award: Danny Hatch
Deathtime Achievement Award: Safir Romain
Deathtime Achievement Award: Safir Romain

KATG 2123: The Jenny Awards

With Nick Maritato – Comics dating comics; Girl Meets World; eating alone in public; Chemda’s wedding countdown; 17-year-old girl happily loses her virginity to her father; the Cannibal Cop joins dating sites; STFU SOTU; Whiplash review; American Sniper’s Chris Kyle was a chronic liar; 2015 Academy Award nominees; The Roast of Terry Bradshaw; New England Patriots cheat; Omarosa has proof Bill Cosby raped women that she can’t share; QVC debates if the moon is a star or a planet January 21, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Glorious Lines: Nick Maritato, who Chemda saw being very funny on Chris Laker’s The Show, is in studio
  • — Are You Gonna Use That?: Nick is dating comedian and KATG guest Ashley Brooke Roberts, but their styles of comedy are so different that they’re not worried about stealing each other's premise
  • — Junk Food: Nick hosts a podcast about enjoying guilty pleasures, but its bonus episodes are recaps of Girl Meets World that get more listens than the main podcast
  • — You're Not Fooling Us: Nick’s 2 big vices are eating and smoking pot, but he’s more embarrassed about his weight, to the point that he rarely eats in public
  • — ChemdaAndLauren.com: Keith and Chemda go over the registry on Chemda's wedding site in anticipation of the big day
  • — Daddy Loves You: A 17-year-old woman lost her virginity to her estranged father and is now engaged to him (even though they can never be legally married), with plans to have children and move to New Jersey where adult incest is legal
  • — Dinner At My Place?: Gilberto Valle, the Cannibal Cop, is trying his luck on dating sites after being released from jail for planning to cook and eat his wife, among others
  • — Whoomp! (There It Is): Barack Obama burned his haters during his State of the Union address
  • — It Moved Fast: Keith reviews Whiplash.
  • — Stuff Happened: American Sniper's Chris Kyle lied about many of the events he claimed happened to him, including punching out Jesse Ventura, shooting 2 carjackers in Texas, and shooting 30 looters in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The man who actually killed Kyle wants his trial moved now that the movie has become a hit.
  • — The Jenny Award: The gang discusses the 2015 Academy Award nominations
  • — Ya Bald Douche: Keith wrote a roast joke about the Pittsburgh Steelers' Terry Bradshaw for Jesse Joyce
  • — Ya Ball Douche: 11 of the New England Patriots' 12 footballs supplied for the AFC Championship were found to be deflated. 63% of KATG's audience thinks the Pats will lose to the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl.
  • — I Wasn't Surprised: Omarosa, who used to work with Bill Cosby, said she'd have 'lots of stories to tell' about Cosby raping women if not for the nondisclosure agreement she signed
  • — I'm Not Buyin' It: Fashion designer and boob-grabber Issac Mizrahi got into a debate with a QVC host on air over whether the moon is a star or a planet that sustains life
  • — The Poll Truth: 25% of KATG's listeners are tempted to walk across America after hearing Jessica Watkins' experience, and 19% have immediate living family members they've never met

Guests

Nick MaritatoNick Maritato

Pictures

Nick Maritato
Nick Maritato

Ashley Brooke Roberts
Ashley Brooke Roberts


Lauren and Chemda
Lauren and Chemda
Gilberto Valle, the Cannibal Cop
Gilberto Valle, the Cannibal Cop

J.K. Simmons in Oz
J.K. Simmons in Oz




Chris Kyle
Chris Kyle
Eddie Ray Routh, Kyle's killer
Eddie Ray Routh, Kyle's killer




Michael Keaton
Michael Keaton
Eddie Redmayne
Eddie Redmayne
Benedict Cumberbatch
Benedict Cumberbatch
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
Terry Bradshaw
Terry Bradshaw
Jesse Joyce
Jesse Joyce
Bill Belichick
Bill Belichick
The Patriots' deflated ball being replaced
The Patriots' deflated ball being replaced
Omarosa
Omarosa
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby
QVC's Shawn Killinger and Issac Mizrahi arguing about the moon
QVC's Shawn Killinger and Issac Mizrahi arguing about the moon

KATG 2122: Jessica Walking

With Jessica Watkins – Jessica walks America; Selfiegate hate mail; Comedy Central to roast Justin Bieber January 20, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Burning Daylight: Jessica Watkins, back from her 2,000 mile, 9-month walk across the country, is in studio
  • — I’m Just Saying: Keith and Chemda respond to hate mail they’ve received in the wake of #Selfiegate. Chemda comes to a realization.
  • — Like Getting Raped Again: Jessica’s rape story was nominated for a KATGuh award for Most Shocking Moment but it received less votes than the time Keith spoiled Gilmore Girls for Chemda
  • — Trail Buddy: Jessica recounts some of the adventures and mishaps she had on her walk, including discovering an animal had chewed a hole in her tent, crashing with racist strangers, getting food poisoning, being conned out of money, stealth camping, meeting KATG listeners, taking acid, drinking moonshine, and more
  • — Only The Ones I Love, Buddy: Justin Bieber has requested that he be the next Comedy Central Roast target for his 21st birthday

Pictures

Jessica Watkins
Jessica Watkins





Jessica's tent
Jessica's tent
Michael Carrino and his kids with Jessica
Michael Carrino and his kids with Jessica
TJ and Benji with Jessica
TJ and Benji with Jessica
Jessica's day before turning 30 bikini pic
Jessica's day before turning 30 bikini pic
Moonshine
Moonshine
Yellowstone River
Yellowstone River
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber

KATG 2121: You've Been Served

With Jackie Kashian – Booking the 57-Hour Marathon; stand-up comedy in Hong Kong; ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com; how to end bed bugs; Selfiegate; AFC and NFC championship games; Keith vs. Xbox support; 17-year-old fake doctor; 5-year-old receives invoice for skipping out on a party; smoking weed in LA vs. NYC January 19, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — The Dorkist: Jackie Kashian, host of The Dork Forest podcast, is in studio
  • — Whenever You Want, Dude: Chemda discusses coordinating the booking for the upcoming 57-Hour Marathon
  • — ROR: Jackie performed comedy in Hong Kong, where all the open mics are in English
  • — Glitter Revenge: The founder of a viral website that sends envelopes stuffed with glitter has quit the site and put it up for auction
  • — Dream Big: A woman has subjected herself to hundreds of thousands of bed bug bites to learn more about what repels and attracts them
  • — Selfiegate: Keith and Chemda wrap up the selfie controversy, with Keith now approaching 50% of the audience’s support
  • — Let's Get Pumped: The Seattle Seahawks and The New England Patriots will be facing off in the Super Bowl as Keith predicted, though the Patriots are being investigated for using deflated footballs
  • — Please Go Away: Keith had a time dealing with the Xbox support team on Twitter
  • — Paging Dr. Grownup: A teenager in costume fooled hospital employees into thinking he was a doctor for a month who, among other things, specialized as an OB/GYN
  • — Party Pooper: A 5-year-old received a £15.95 invoice for him and his parents after he failed to appear at a friend's birthday party
  • — Morally Bankrupt: Jackie interviewed someone who loves money on The Dork Forest, but she promptly deleted the episode without releasing it because they both came off poorly
  • — A Big Bag Of Weed Air: Jackie details the difference between smoking pot in LA versus NYC

Pictures

Jackie Kashian
Jackie Kashian
Hong Kong
Hong Kong

Regine Gries and the bed bugs she's studying
Regine Gries and the bed bugs she's studying



Train's Pat Monahan
Train's Pat Monahan
Katy Perry
Katy Perry
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Red Hot Chili Peppers


Doogie Howser
Doogie Howser
The invoice sent to a 5-year-old
The invoice sent to a 5-year-old

KATG 2120: Selfie-loathing

Scarlett Johannson uses Keith’s made up word ‘Brumski’ in correct context; Chemda’s wedding dress; In Touch magazine photoshops Bruce Jenner as a woman; women playing football with men; terrorists caught in Europe; the all-white Academy Awards and reviews of Birdman, American Sniper, and Taken 3; the heated poll results to the mom reposting her daughter’s selfies January 18, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — I’m Rich!: Scarlett Johansson used Keith’s made-up word ‘brumski’ to describe her boob getting grabbed on the red carpet
  • — Dip It In White: Andrea Allan is turning one of Chemda’s favorite dresses into her wedding dress
  • — Lost In Translation: In Touch’s latest cover features a photoshopped rendering of Bruce Jenner as a woman. Keith reviews Transparent.
  • — I’d More Believe A Dog Was A Quarterback: Keith thinks a new show about a female quarterback on a high school football team is unrealistic
  • — This Is The End: Terrorists are rounded up throughout Europe
  • — The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: The 87th-annual Academy Award nominees are entirely white. Keith rates Birdman, American Sniper, and Taken 3.
  • — This Week In Pictures Of Teenage Girls: 32% of KATG’s listeners think Keith and Lenny Marcus were right in finding it weird that the mom reposted selfies of her teenage daughter on Facebook to congratulate her upcoming college experience. Chemda is disgusted by Keith’s antiquated views.

Pictures

Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson



Black Widow
Black Widow
The phone from Her
The phone from Her


Andrea Allan
Andrea Allan
Bruce Jenner
Bruce Jenner


Bella and the Bulldogs
Bella and the Bulldogs
Alan Moore, the then 61-year-old college football player
Alan Moore, the then 61-year-old college football player

Mad Magazine's Charlie Hebdo cartoon
Mad Magazine's Charlie Hebdo cartoon











KATG 2119: Grumpy Old Men

With Lenny Marcus – Keith’s MRI denied; Selma doesn’t include actual MLK speeches; the Golden Raspberry Awards; bad parenting, bad teachers, and inappropriate 18-year-olds; honeymoon plans January 14, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Hello Chat Forum People: Lenny Marcus, ready for his haters, is in studio
  • — I’ll Hear It On The Show: Lenny cut off another comic’s story about his failed engagement because Lenny would rather hear it told on Keith and The Girl
  • — I Don’t Know, Click: Keith was denied an MRI for his damaged knees by his insurance company
  • — Birthday Shoutouts: Keith wishes international listeners Luke Myballs, Anita Dickinmyass, and Boyami Afoockingidiot a very happy birthday
  • — The King’s Speech: Despite being a biopic of the man, Selma didn’t include any of Martin Luther King Jr.’s actual words because his bickering children already sold them to Dreamworks
  • — Razzie! Razzie!: The gang announces some Golden Raspberry Award nominations and lists some movies they wish had been included
  • — Extremely Flammable: 2 toddlers died in a house fire after they were left alone for hours while their mom got her hair done
  • — Peaskeeping: A principal asked parents to send their children to school with canned goods to throw in self-defense at intruders
  • — Today’s Poll: Keith and Lenny find it odd that a mother posted 7 (sexual?) selfies of her high school-aged daughter while Chemda and Danny find it appropriate
  • — Glamping: Chemda explains her honeymoon plans to Lenny
  • — Judge Keith: Lenny will possibly be bringing his girlfriend, who is monitoring this right now, to Keith’s Super Bowl party

Guests

Lenny MarcusLenny Marcus

Pictures

Lenny Marcus
Lenny Marcus
Taylor Ketchum
Taylor Ketchum
Keith's sleep study
Keith's sleep study


Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
MLK's kids: Martin Luther III, Dexter, and Bernice
MLK's kids: Martin Luther III, Dexter, and Bernice


The Golden Raspberry Award
The Golden Raspberry Award
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture
Worst Picture






Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor
Worst Actor

Noam Dworman
Noam Dworman
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Worst Actress
Ciarra Johnson, the mom whose kids died while she was getting her hair done
Ciarra Johnson, the mom whose kids died while she was getting her hair done
Ciarra's kids Clifton and Tashae
Ciarra's kids Clifton and Tashae
The picture in question
The picture in question
Katy Olson
Katy Olson
Katy Perry
Katy Perry
Bridget Everett
Bridget Everett
Carmen Lynch
Carmen Lynch

KATG 2118: Paul Is Avail

With Paul Hooper – Tinder, OK Cupid, kisses, and massages; how to get the most from your movie pass; trouble on the subway; arresting children; man tapes 94 iPhones to his body to smuggle; Charlie Hebdo’s new magazine cover; ISIS hacks U.S. military accounts January 14, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — Monthly Update: Paul Hooper, still alive, is in studio
  • — International Humorist: Paul’s Tinder and OK Cupid conversations tend to go south once he tells his potential lovers he’s a traveling comedian. Paul discusses his turn-ons and turn-offs.
  • — I Don’t Force It Upon Anyone: Paul shows pictures of his penis to anyone who asks
  • — Thank You To The King: Keith makes someone’s day at a showing of Selma, and he tries to explain his movie pass scheme to Chemda and Paul
  • — Off The Rails: 1 person died and 84 were hospitalized after a Washington, D.C. Metro train car filled with smoke. In NYC a man pleads not guilty to murder after pushing someone off a platform in front of a subway train.
  • — Kids These Days: 3 4th-graders made a plan to kill their fatally-allergic teacher by tainting her belongings with hand sanitizer, and a 17-year-old student violently attacked a classmate who farted as he walked by her. 56% of KATG’s audience believe it was a good idea for a man to call the cops to witness the spanking of his 12-year-old daughter. A 9-year-old boy was arrested after he failed to appear in court for stealing gum.
  • — Midnight iXpress: A man was busted trying to sneak 94 iPhones into mainland China from Hong Kong
  • — Terror Tuesday: Charlie Hebdo’s new cover features another cartoon of Mohammed. ISIS hacked an American military twitter account.

Guests

Paul HooperPaul Hooper

Pictures

Paul Hooper
Paul Hooper
Paul's sexy Tinder photo
Paul's sexy Tinder photo
Paul's penis
Paul's penis


Smoke inside a Washington, D.C. Metro train car
Smoke inside a Washington, D.C. Metro train car
Kevin Darden, the man who pushed another NYC subway rider in front of a train
Kevin Darden, the man who pushed another NYC subway rider in front of a train
Hong Kong's worst smuggler with the 94 iPhones
Hong Kong's worst smuggler with the 94 iPhones





KATG 2117: All in the Family

With Katy Olson – Meeting immediate family for the first time as an adult; Super Bowl XLIX predictions; 72nd Golden Globe Awards; Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare; French police commissioner shoots himself after meeting terrorist victims January 13, 2015

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Show Notes

  • — This Is Humiliating: Katy Olson, not the winner of the World Comedy Laugh Off, is in studio
  • — Welcome To Florida: Katy ended up in a college class with a sister she’d never met before, who told her about their biological mother’s homophobic gay serial killer boyfriend who most likely fathered Katy’s brother. Katy’s adopted mom used to babysit for a prostitute.
  • — And Tom Brady Will Cry: Keith shares his Super Bowl XLIX prediction
  • — Dressed To Kill: Despite vomitus fashion, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were very funny Golden Globes hosts
  • — Peace Nazi: Keith is enjoying Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, starring a possibly gay Kevin Spacey, but wishes it had more reasonable options than shooting someone in the face
  • — Putain De Merde: A French police commissioner shot himself in the head after meeting with victims of the Charlie Hebdo shooting

Guests

Katy OlsonKaty Olson

Pictures

Katy Olson
Katy Olson
Gary Ray Bowles
Gary Ray Bowles

The road to Super Bowl XLIX
The road to Super Bowl XLIX
Tom Brady
Tom Brady
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Best Motion Picture – Drama
Best Motion Picture – Drama
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Julianne Moore, Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Julianne Moore, Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
Eddie Redmayne, Best Performance By an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Eddie Redmayne, Best Performance By an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
Michael Keaton, Best Performance By an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Michael Keaton, Best Performance By an Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Best Animated Feature Film
Best Animated Feature Film
Best Director – Motion Picture
Best Director – Motion Picture
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
Best Television Series – Drama
Best Television Series – Drama

Kevin Spacey in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
Kevin Spacey in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
Andy Cohen
Andy Cohen
Tom Cruise and Rosie O'Donnell
Tom Cruise and Rosie O'Donnell
Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical
Best Television Series – Comedy or Musical
Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Mark Ruffalo with Matt Bomer, Best Performance By an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Miniseries, or Motion Picture Made for Television
Mark Ruffalo with Matt Bomer, Best Performance By an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Miniseries, or Motion Picture Made for Television
Helric Fredou, the French Police commissioner who shot himself
Helric Fredou, the French Police commissioner who shot himself
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