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KATG 2045: The Horny Games

Cee-Lo Green tweets that unconscious rape isn’t rape; Keith’s wife vs. Times Square costume characters; is Zara selling anti-Semitic clothing?; a KATG listener tries to kill herself and her daughter; leaked nudes of Jennifer Lawrence and Kirsten Dunst, among others; Michael Sam cut; Joan Rivers recovering with brain damage September 2, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — Just Being Silly: Keith starts the show by freaking everybody out and being nice to Danny
  • — Praise God: Cee-Lo Green, after pleading no-contest to drugging a woman’s drink without her knowledge, tweeted that rape isn’t rape if the victim is unconscious
  • — Despicable: Keith and his wife had an experience, and now he is no longer on the side of the Times Square costume characters
  • — How Could They Nazi The Problem?: A Spanish retailer's new shirt design looks like prison garb with a star of David on it. Earlier the same company released a handbag featuring a Swastika design.
  • — Carbon Momoxide: Kelli Stapleton, a KATG fan and blogger on the subject of her autistic child, is in jail after trying to kill herself and her daughter
  • — Summer's Bone: Hackers released stolen explicit images of female celebrities, including Jennifer Lawrence. Keith isn't so sure that the celebrities aren't in on it themselves.
  • — Defensive Rear End: Michael Sam was cut from the St. Louis Rams because he’s not good enough to play professional football, not because he’s not straight enough to play professional football
  • — In Hospital Bed With Joan: Joan Rivers is in the process of being revived from a medically-induced coma and may have suffered severe brain damage

Pictures

Danny Hatch
Danny Hatch


The Times Square Minions
The Times Square Minions
The 9-year-old Uzi shooter right before she killed her shooting instructor
The 9-year-old Uzi shooter right before she killed her shooting instructor
Zara's anti-Semetic shirt?
Zara's anti-Semetic shirt?
Zara's Swastika handbag
Zara's Swastika handbag
Kelli Stapleton
Kelli Stapleton
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Hudson
Kirsten Dunst
Kirsten Dunst
Ardie Fuqua and Tracy Morgan
Ardie Fuqua and Tracy Morgan

Keith Lowell Jensen
Keith Lowell Jensen
Michael Sam
Michael Sam


Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers

KATG 2044: Down the Road

With Bonnie McFarlane – Comedians raising children; your child believing in God when you don’t; imagining life with someone else; David Letterman; Women Aren’t Funny; Joan Rivers in critical condition; Cops soundman shot dead by cops; Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie marry; faking your own kidnapping August 29, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — The Queen: Bonnie McFarlane, whom no one on the planet is funnier than, is in studio
  • — This Is Mommy’s Time: Bonnie brought her daughter Rayna to the studio and distracted her with Family Guy episodes
  • — Why Not?: Bonnie is an atheist, but her daughter believes in God and tries to convert her
  • — Stage Parent: Bonnie spends a lot of time with Rayna, including when she goes on the road
  • — Nah, She'd Be A Bitch: Keith imagines what his life would be like if he was married to every woman he ever spends time with
  • — Okay, Bye: Bonnie just taped a set on Late Show with David Letterman, which ended with a long, awkward embrace with the man himself
  • — Bonnie Is Funny: Bonnie's documentary, Women Aren't Funny, is now the #1 documentary on iTunes
  • — Getting A Piece Of Work Done: Joan Rivers is in critical condition after she stopped breathing during throat surgery
  • — Art Imitates Death: A soundman for the show Cops was killed by police fire during a shootout at a fast food restaurant
  • — What A Pitty: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie get married
  • — The Happy Couple: A man faked his own kidnapping (with a ransom set at $65) so he could stay out later and drink with his friends without getting hassled by his girlfriend

Pictures

Bonnie McFarlane and Rayna
Bonnie McFarlane and Rayna

David Letterman
David Letterman


Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers

Disney World, the happiest place on Earth (unless you're Michael)
Disney World, the happiest place on Earth (unless you're Michael)

Bryce Dion, the Cops soundman killed by police fire
Bryce Dion, the Cops soundman killed by police fire
Keep Jennifer Aniston away from bodegas that sell newspapers and razors. This is gloating. Am I on the right team?
Keep Jennifer Aniston away from bodegas that sell newspapers and razors. This is gloating. Am I on the right team?
I see a boat, but if they're supposedly on it where ARE the - oh I see. On the left side.
I see a boat, but if they're supposedly on it where ARE the - oh I see. On the left side.
Jennifer would have worn the same stuck-up hat, so whatever. #teamjolie
Jennifer would have worn the same stuck-up hat, so whatever. #teamjolie
"Dude I don't even know what's going on bro..." You got married, Brad. That's what's going on. I mean come on.
"Dude I don't even know what's going on bro..." You got married, Brad. That's what's going on. I mean come on.
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston

KATG 2043: Rock of Ages

With Jordan Rock – Comics bumping other comics; Miley Cyrus’ VMAs date wanted by the law; growing up in Chris Rock’s shadow; small town vs. NYC; faking death to get out of a wedding; Darren Wilson’s racist background; Times Square costume characters picket; 9-year-old kills shooting instructor; Madden 15 and online playing; the DTs August 28, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — Rock Stars: Jordan Rock, who is constantly bumped by Jim Gaffigan but never his own brother Chris, is in studio
  • — At Least Jail Is Inside: Miley Cyrus brought a homeless person as her date to the VMAs who happened to have a warrant out for his arrest in his hometown
  • — He's Getting There: Jordan talks about working as a stand-up under the shadow of his 2 brothers
  • — Life In The Fast Lane: Inspired by the latest What's My Name episode, the gang talks about life in small towns compared to life in NYC
  • — Victim Blaming: 53% of KATG's listeners think Chemda is too empathetic, and 57% believe leaning your seat back on an airplane is A-OK
  • — Til 'Death': A man impersonating his own father called his fiancée to tell her that 'his son' had killed himself and can’t marry her
  • — Mugshirt: A criminal in Somerset, PA showed up at court to serve his time in a shirt featuring his own mugshot
  • — Misery: Before getting a job in Ferguson, Darren Wilson was a member of a police force that was disbanded for being extremely racist
  • — Artists United For A Smile: The costumed Times Square characters have unionized and are protesting the NYPD for diminishing their earnings
  • — The Wrong To Bear Arms: A 9-year-old at a shooting range accidentally killed her instructor when she lost control of a fully automatic Uzi
  • — Nice Shot, F*****: Keith gets the new Madden video game and is ready to hear children curse at him
  • — Shaken Up: Jordan stopped drinking 3 weeks ago and suffered from delirium tremens

Guests

Jordan RockJordan Rock

Pictures

Jordan Rock
Jordan Rock
Miley Cyrus and her homeless fugitive date, Jess Helt
Miley Cyrus and her homeless fugitive date, Jess Helt
Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Tony Rock
Tony Rock
Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan

Kanye West
Kanye West
Alex Lanchester and her ex-fiancé, Tucker Blandford, who faked his own death to get out of marrying her
Alex Lanchester and her ex-fiancé, Tucker Blandford, who faked his own death to get out of marrying her
Robert Burt and his mugshot t-shirt
Robert Burt and his mugshot t-shirt
Darren Wilson
Darren Wilson
The Times Square costume characters protest
The Times Square costume characters protest
Charles Vacca, the shooting range instructor killed by a 9-year-old girl
Charles Vacca, the shooting range instructor killed by a 9-year-old girl
An Uzi
An Uzi

KATG 2042: Say Fuck It

With Christi Chiello – Adults with childlike voices; Middle Eastern restaurants; Emmys; Buckcherry covers Icona Pop; Young Jeezy arrested for a shooting at a Wiz Khalifa concert; Keith’s One Strike and You’re Dead law; man arrested after he posts his Ice Bucket Challenge; the Knee Defender August 27, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — Best Girl: Christi Chiello, Creek and the Cave Award winner, is in studio
  • — My Parents Aren’t Home: The gang discusses the ups and downs of 29-year-old Christi’s childlike voice
  • — The Compromised Half: Keith chastises Christi for eating at Subway (Eat Fresh) when there are excellent delis all over New York City. Keith deals with a shawarma restaurant’s incompetence.
  • — Best Supporting Bitch: Donald Trump was not pleased that Seth Meyers hosted the Emmys, where Breaking Bad cleaned up. The gang discusses Anna Gunn’s New York Times article defending Skyler White.
  • — I Don't Care: Keith loves the new Buckcherry song ‘Say Fuck It’ and is confused by music blog Stereogum’s strong hatred for the band
  • — Death In This Club: Young Jeezy was arrested in connection with a shooting at a Wiz Khalifa concert
  • — Keith's Justice: Listeners remind us of Keith’s proposed ‘One Strike and You're Dead' law, which Keith still stands behind
  • — Freeze!: A fugitive on the run from the police was brought to justice after he was recognized from his Ice Bucket Challenge video
  • — The Knee Defender: A fight broke out on an airplane after a man used a device to prevent the woman in front of him from leaning her seat back

Pictures

Christi Chiello
Christi Chiello
The Creek and The Cave
The Creek and The Cave

Jared
Jared
Donald Trump
Donald Trump
Seth Meyers
Seth Meyers
Outstanding drama series
Outstanding drama series
Bryan Cranston, outstanding lead actor in a drama series
Bryan Cranston, outstanding lead actor in a drama series
Anna Gunn, outstanding supporting actress in a drama series
Anna Gunn, outstanding supporting actress in a drama series
Aaron Paul, outstanding supporting actor in a drama series
Aaron Paul, outstanding supporting actor in a drama series
Aaron Paul on The Price is Right
Aaron Paul on The Price is Right
Carmela Soprano
Carmela Soprano
Outstanding writing for a comedy series
Outstanding writing for a comedy series
Outstanding Special Class Program
Outstanding Special Class Program
Outstanding Animated Program
Outstanding Animated Program
Christian Finnegan
Christian Finnegan
Buckcherry
Buckcherry

Icona Pop
Icona Pop

The Mountain Goats
The Mountain Goats
Young Jeezy
Young Jeezy
Wiz Khalifa
Wiz Khalifa
Jesean Morris, the fugitive who was caught because of his Ice Bucket Challenge video
Jesean Morris, the fugitive who was caught because of his Ice Bucket Challenge video
The Knee Defender
The Knee Defender


KATG 2041: Benefit of the Doubt

The President’s vacations; why cops shoot to kill; Suge Knight shot at Chris Brown party; Chemda’s NYC adventures; the Kardashians dishonor Michael Brown; the Last Comic Standing finale; Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon separate; V. Stiviano says Donald Sterling is gay; VH1’s Dating Naked shows actual vagina; stolen morgue penises August 26, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — State Of The Union: 85% of KATG's listeners think the President of the United States deserves a vacation, and 13.6% think blind people deserve to own guns
  • — Cop Out: A former police officer writes in to further explain why cops aim for 'center mass' and not hands or feet when they shoot a live target
  • — Guess The Persuasion: Suge Knight was shot multiple times at a party hosted by Chris Brown
  • — Queen Of The Weirdos: Chemda was either almost mugged or hit on by an unarmed weirdo; at the DMV, she was bothered by a different, homophobic weirdo; on the train she and Lauren were sketched by a third weirdo
  • — Phoning It In: Kim Kardashian and 2 of her sisters texted throughout a moment of silence for Michael Brown at the Video Music Awards
  • — Last Person Watching: Keith was not pleased by 2014’s Last Comic Standing nor any Last Comic Standing ever
  • — Without You: Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have been separated and living in separate houses since May
  • — Whore-der In The Court: In a new lawsuit, V. Stiviano is claiming that she never slept with Donald Sterling because he's gay and she was his beard
  • — Dating Stupid: A woman who appeared on the reality show Dating Naked is suing VH1 for $10 million for showing her uncensored asshole and vagina
  • — The Penis Collector: A 52-year-old male nurse in Croatia was arrested for stealing penises from the morgue

Pictures

Barack Obama in Martha's Vineyard
Barack Obama in Martha's Vineyard
Linda Maddox, and her grandson Tyler, who she shot
Linda Maddox, and her grandson Tyler, who she shot
Suge Knight
Suge Knight
Chris Brown
Chris Brown
Kanye West
Kanye West
Tupac Shakur
Tupac Shakur
The Kardashians texting during a moment of silence for Michael Brown
The Kardashians texting during a moment of silence for Michael Brown
Miley Cyrus in the Video of the Year
Miley Cyrus in the Video of the Year
Rod Man, Last Comic Standing 8 winner
Rod Man, Last Comic Standing 8 winner
Nikki Carr, Last Comic Standing 8 runner-up
Nikki Carr, Last Comic Standing 8 runner-up
Lachlan Patterson, Last Comic Standing 8 runner-up
Lachlan Patterson, Last Comic Standing 8 runner-up
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
V. Stiviano and Donald Sterling
V. Stiviano and Donald Sterling
Shelly Sterling
Shelly Sterling

Jessie Nizewitz
Jessie Nizewitz
Jessie Nizewitz's vagina
Jessie Nizewitz's vagina

KATG 2040: The Agony and the Ecstasy

Richard Attenborough and Don Pardo died; camping on molly; Ice Bucket Challenge; Expendables 3, A Most Wanted Man, Nymphomaniac; Ferguson timeline reviewed; War Machine arrested; Lori Petty’s reputation; a man sexes over 100 cadavers August 24, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — A National Debate: Keith and The Girl is ready to tackle the issues
  • — Come On Down: Richard Attenborough and Don Pardo died
  • — Yes-a-versary: Chemda went camping and dropped molly to celebrate the one-year anniversary of her engagement to Lauren
  • — Cold As Ice: The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is discussed, and Keith and The Girl have been nominated
  • — I'm Over References: Keith reviews/hates on The Expendables 3 and A Most Wanted Man, and Chemda reviews Nymphomaniac
  • — Don't Fuck The Police: Keith and Chemda give a timeline of the events in Ferguson and discuss the police shooting of another young black man, this time armed with a knife, in St. Louis
  • — Jail Machine: War Machine was arrested in California and will be brought back to Nevada to face trial for beating his girlfriend almost to death
  • — Be Nice: Lori Petty has gained a reputation for being an asshole at conventions, going so far as scamming her fans willing to pay for an autograph
  • — Fuck Donor: A former morgue employee raped at least 100 corpses during his tenure at the morgue

Pictures

Richard Attenborough
Richard Attenborough


Lauren and Chemda's camping trip
Lauren and Chemda's camping trip


How Lauren and Chemda did molly while camping
How Lauren and Chemda did molly while camping
Don Pardo
Don Pardo
"Weird Al" Yankovic
"Weird Al" Yankovic

Lou Gehrig
Lou Gehrig
George W. Bush
George W. Bush
Oprah
Oprah




Mike Lawrence
Mike Lawrence





Michael Brown
Michael Brown
Darren Wilson
Darren Wilson

Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Kajieme Powell
Kajieme Powell
Ferguson police officer Dan Page
Ferguson police officer Dan Page
War Machine
War Machine
Christy Mack
Christy Mack
ISIS' beheading of James Foley
ISIS' beheading of James Foley
Kevin Sorbo
Kevin Sorbo

Lori Petty
Lori Petty


Former morgue employee Kenneth Douglas
Former morgue employee Kenneth Douglas
Steven Landsburg, the rape professor
Steven Landsburg, the rape professor

KATG 2039: Send

With Danny Hatch - The Top 10 Party Schools; big head costumes in NYC; Courtney Love wastes $27 million; Wikipedia bans the House of Representatives; Danny's love/lust life August 21, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — Party 101: Danny Hatch, who went to college for a single year, is in studio
  • — The Smelliest Union: Big head costume characters in NYC are trying to unionize after being threatened with meddling cops and councilmen. A man arrested for shouting anti-Semitic rants while dressed as Elmo is facing more jail time for trying to blackmail the Girl Scouts.
  • — Nirvana Money: Courtney Love estimates that she’s wasted $27,000,000 in her lifetime
  • — Editor In Chief: Wikipedia blocked the House of Representatives from editing articles for 10 days because its members kept adding blatantly false statements to them
  • — Lady Killer: Danny talks about the women that he has crushes on
  • — Ask The Wishmaster: Everyone's favorite weekly segment continues

Guests

Danny HatchDanny Hatch

Pictures

Danny Hatch
Danny Hatch
Danny's brief college stint: The University of Oklahoma
Danny's brief college stint: The University of Oklahoma
Chemda's brief college stint
Chemda's brief college stint
#1 Party Schoooooool!!!
#1 Party Schoooooool!!!
Dan Garodnick, the councilman advocating big head costume regulation
Dan Garodnick, the councilman advocating big head costume regulation
Spider-Man fights the cops
Spider-Man fights the cops
Dan Sandler, the anti-Semitic Elmo
Dan Sandler, the anti-Semitic Elmo
Legal crack
Legal crack
Courtney Love
Courtney Love

Donald Rumsfeld, the alien lizard who eats Mexican babies
Donald Rumsfeld, the alien lizard who eats Mexican babies

KATG 2038: More Seriously

With Michael Khalili and Marisela Arias – Sex clubs revisited; dieting; Humans United Against Robots; Chemda the Arsonist August 20, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — It's A Good Time To Be Alive: Michael Khalili and Marisela Arias, KATG's behind-the-scenes secret weapons, are in studio
  • — Nerds That Play Hard: Michael and Marisela took their relationship slow at first, but they went to a sex club on their third date
  • — Emphasis On The Die: The gang discusses dieting
  • — HUAR: There's a new fitness bracelet that shocks you with 340 volts whenever you miss a workout. Cars can be remotely hacked. A computer has been created that is so good at simulating human conversation that it convinced interrogators it was a human 13-year-old boy
  • — No! No!: Chemda's toaster caught fire and once water didn't put it out, her only solution was to yell at the fire

Pictures

Marisela and Michael
Marisela and Michael
Mike the ex-Intern
Mike the ex-Intern
Mike the ex-Intern's delicious Cottage Cheese Surprise
Mike the ex-Intern's delicious Cottage Cheese Surprise
JessNYC
JessNYC
Pavlok, the wristband that shocks you whenever you miss a workout
Pavlok, the wristband that shocks you whenever you miss a workout
Alan Turing
Alan Turing
Humans United Against Robots
Humans United Against Robots
Windex weaponry (with laser scope)
Windex weaponry (with laser scope)

KATG 2037: Manwhore

With Ray DeVito and Billy Procida – Dating apps; sex parties; male anorexia; a 6’4” 229-pound Little Leaguer; MTA’s bedbugs; Uber sabotages Lyft; being fined for posting negative reviews August 19, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — A Work Release Thing: Ray DeVito and Billy Procida, a couple of great guys, are in studio
  • — It’s A Pimp Site: Ray uses a dating app that sends him a different girl each day whose dinner he can pay for
  • — The Bukkake King: Billy went to his first sex party (but not his first bukakke) on Saturday, where he ran into a female comic he knew
  • — Manorexic: Billy was a little chubby growing up but was made fun of so relentlessly that he became anorexic
  • — Check His Birth Certificate: A 13-year-old Puerto Rican Little Leaguer is 6 feet 4 inches tall and 229 pounds
  • — Bugging Out: An MTA employee’s home is now infested with bedbugs because she cleaned an infested train and the MTA is refusing to fumigate her home
  • — Ew-ber: Uber was found to have ordered and canceled thousands and thousands Lyft rides to sabotage the competition
  • — Out To Lunch: A bed-and-breakfast announced it would fine people $500 for each negative review posted online by their guests

Pictures

Billy Procida and Ray DeVito
Billy Procida and Ray DeVito
Burning Man
Burning Man




Erick Figueroa, the 6'4" 229 pound Little Leaguer
Erick Figueroa, the 6'4" 229 pound Little Leaguer
Union Street Guest House
Union Street Guest House

KATG 2036: Losing My Religion

With Hollis James – Alec Baldwin joins Teachers Lounge; Hollis writes a TMNT book as well as for a Christian magazine; leaving the church; alcoholism; a 4-year-old mayor; the NRA wants the blind to have guns; Jesus Camp August 18, 2014

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Show Notes

  • — Class Is In Session: Hollis James, co-creator of the web series Alec Baldwin's Teachers Lounge, is in studio
  • — Ted Talk: Hollis' best friend, Ted Alexandro, is single despite literally everyone in the world considering him the most impressive person ever
  • — Renaissance Man: Hollis wrote a children's book about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (whose title he forgets) in addition to his work for a Christian magazine
  • — Fall Out Boys: Hollis and Keith talk about their slow (but still definite) experiences of falling away from the Catholic Church
  • — Diet Coked Up: Alcoholism and its roll in Hollis' life
  • — Playtime Is Over: A 4-year-old was not reelected as mayor of a small town where mayors are literally chosen out of a hat. The new mayor is 16 years old.
  • — No Foresight: The NRA's latest campaign is to let blind people have guns
  • — Stir Your Ice Cream: Inspired by the brainwashing antics in the film Jesus Camp, Keith offers some advice to his younger listeners

Guests

Hollis JamesHollis James

Pictures

Hollis James
Hollis James

Janeane Garofalo
Janeane Garofalo
Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin

DJ Paris Hilton
DJ Paris Hilton



Beau Bridges, narrator of 5 American Kids, 5 American Handguns
Beau Bridges, narrator of 5 American Kids, 5 American Handguns

Ted Leo
Ted Leo
Todd Barry
Todd Barry
Jim Norton
Jim Norton
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