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Kurt Metzger

Comedian and writer known for his work on Inside Amy Schumer, Ugly Americans, and his Comedy Central special.
Kurt Metzger has been on 3 shows

KATG 2000: SHOW #2,000

With Lenny Marcus, Katharine Heller, Dante Nero, Ray DeVito, Chris Laker, Kurt Metzger, Mark Normand, Myka Fox, Judy Gold with Elysa, and Lauren Hennessy June 23, 2014

Show Notes

  • — Maybe: It’s KATG’s 2,000th episode, and Keith and Chemda celebrate by reading some nice comments from fans and getting grouchy over noncommittal RSVPs
  • — Lay Off, Honeypants: Lenny Marcus, who takes Chemda to task for shitting on him whenever she gets the chance, is the first guest in studio
  • — Running His Mouth: Lenny complains about the show’s ads messing up his running rhythm
  • — At Least They're Consistent: Tom Brady and the Patriots allegedly have access to the New York Jets’ playbook, the latest sneaky development from the team who was caught illegally taping other football teams
  • — Hooligans: Lenny and Chemda get into a fight over whether or not soccer or baseball is the better game; Chile and Mexico destroyed their stadiums after winning preliminary World Cup matches
  • — Tit For Dick: Katharine Heller, who really loves sexting, is the second guest on the show; Lenny doesn’t get it (surprise)
  • — Swagger: Dante Nero, who could have the female co-host of his show anytime he wants, is the third guest on the show
  • — Spoils Of War: Dante helped Lenny after Lenny’s girlfriend heard him talking about her pot use on KATG
  • — And Then He Came Out: The low point of Katharine’s recent trip to London was a failed threesome with some old friends; the high point was being taken out on the best date of her life
  • — A Huge Bother: Ray DeVito, whose sisters clearly didn’t want him around when he went home to Cleveland, is the fourth guest in studio
  • — This Week In Chris: Chris Laker, host of the podcast This Week In Jackin’, is the next guest on mic
  • — Don’t Do That: Ray watches porn on mute as an educational tool for being better at oral sex
  • — Viral Marketing: 22 Jump Street, which came out right after Jonah Hill called a paparazzo a faggot, was chock full of gay jokes
  • — A Touching Interview: Kurt Metzger, who, like many, was raised to believe that masturbating was wrong, is in studio
  • — Bits And Pieces: Chemda talks about her awkward, uninformed sexual coming of age
  • — Whatever It Takes: Kurt used Degrassi: Junior High as his in to give a girl the worst fingering anyone’s ever received
  • — But I'm Feeding You A Hot Dog!: Kurt and one of his friends took turns fucking a woman who smoked and talked about eating a bacon cheeseburger while Kurt was having sex with her
  • — Bomb City: Mark Normand, who opened for Chris’ album taping at The Creek and The Cave, is next up on the show
  • — Yes Homo: Mark appeared on the current season of Last Comic Standing and received a lot of gay fan tweets as a result
  • — Quiet Clubbing: Keith and Chemda talk about the latest headphone-based dance party they attended
  • — Can’t I Just Shout Something?: Kurt never expects his Facebook and Twitter rants, like those against the UCB for not paying its performers, to actually have consequences
  • — Progressive: The gay kids at Kurt’s high school were more accepted more than he was
  • — Myka On The Moon: Myka Fox, who wants to marry Andy Kaufman, is the next guest on the show
  • — Adopting New Policies: Judy Gold, who set a precedent in New York court after letting her partner adopt their son after they’d already broken up, joins the show
  • — Redykeulous: Lauren Hennessy takes the mic to talk about Chemda ‘lesbianifying’ their upcoming wedding in Hawaii
  • — Freudian Circle: Lauren, who is Judy’s assistant, is used to Judy shenanigans because she is just like Lauren’s dad
  • — What Gender Is Your Child?: Judy calls Keith out for being too narcissistic to learn the gender of his dog; Judy’s friend surgically installed fake balls in his dog after it was fixed
  • — This Is Judy Gold: Judy’s partner Elysa joins the show to talk about their experience on Wife Swap and how she and Judy fell in love

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